*PWC: Person With CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome)
by Pamela Rice Hahn
The way I figure it, there are men out there overlooking the opportunity to find the perfect mistress. A PWC.
Granted, there are many with this chronic, nonfatal illness who are already married. However, there are also many who aren’t. So, without going into any discussion of this author’s current status, let’s consider the possibilities.
The first advantage is obvious. Imagine a woman who never complains that her lover doesn’t take her anywhere. Why? Because, usually, she doesn’t want to leave the house anyhow. Trips to the outside require a great deal of coordination. Resting up before the trek. The crash and necessary additional rest afterwards. It’s easier to just stay home.
One writer I know (quite well, in fact) suggests, perhaps, a rich Republican looking for a ghost writer. “I figure I could be his legitimate (intimate) business expense,” she says.
Just think of it! All the benefits without the worry about her ever writing any of those pesky memoirs later. Ghost writers sign nondisclosure agreements, after all.
Beyond that, there are few requirements or restrictions.
In this theoretical relationship, the guy sets her up in, say, a condo on a lake. For the sake of discussion, we’ll assume she also has MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities), so the apartment will require all-electric heat and air conditioning. An air-filtration system would be nice; one for the water supply is a must - to get rid of that nasty chlorine. The second phone line for the Internet access is a given. An unlimited amazon.com account is optional, but could lead to many advantages. A well-read mistress is a contented one, I’ve heard. But other than the masseuse (for therapeutic purposes, of course), cleaning lady, and occasional catered meals, that’s about it.
Sure! A PWC could take the easy way out and go in search of a nice wealthy widower, but then he might want a social life. A PWC prefers snuggling on the sofa, watching a video, or reading aloud or being read to instead of a night on the town any day. It’s part of the acceptance of the condition.
The partner has no concerns about the PWC hitting the single’s circuit, which is a plus. As long as he’s devoted, neither has to worry about any latex allergies. That allows for a freedom of expression often restricted in this day and age. Oh, the attractiveness of a life of wild monkey sex and writing. Not at the same time, of course … although the newer voice recognition software packages do show promise….
Occasional face-to-face conversations are nice, too. But based on my informal survey, as long as he meets the job satisfaction standards, there may be a PWC (a widow) willing to continue just chatting with her online friends and with her (theoretical married and living away from home) daughter.
One of the first requirements of accepting any life-changing condition is redefining one’s definition of success. So, who knows? Maybe marriage isn’t always the practical objective for one with limited energies. Maybe value judgments and a lifetime of moral standards should be set aside. A necessary measure for an exceptional circumstance. Perhaps being a mistress wouldn’t have to be a compromise. It could simply be a part of adapting to yet another lifestyle change.
It’s something to think about.
But also something that, I’m sure, is easier to ponder in theory than in practice. Life, after all, does come with strings attached.
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Copyright © 2001-2007 Pamela Rice Hahn
All Rights Reserved
Author bio:
Pamela Rice Hahn is the author of Teach Yourself Grammar and Style in 24 Hours, The Everything Improve Your Writing Book, The Everything Low-Salt Cookbook, and others. In addition to her editing and design work on The Blue Rose Bouquet; Pam has also created a number of other Web sites, including CookingWithPam, GenealogyTips, Fawnn.com, Chronic-Illness.org, TShirtCollections.com, and The Observational Therapist. You can learn more about her by visiting her personal Web site. This essay is from Pam’s unpublished book, Rhymes and Reasons: Coping with Chronic Illness, CFS, FM, MCS, and Other Stuff.
Some of Pam’s chronic illness and conditions t-shirt and gift designs include:
CFS WARNING Gift Gear Index
Index for Disabling Chronic Illness Warning T-Shirts and Gifts
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Pammy, the main character in the 
Many of those 
Editor of The Blue Rose Bouquet since 1998 and a professional writer since 1984,